I have an affliction – I can’t seem to say ‘no’ to anything.
Before I had children, my life was busy. I felt like I didn’t have enough time to clean the house, take up hobbies, spend time outdoors, or see my friends. I did all of those things, I just never did them as much as I wanted to. I got home from work late and by the time I’d cooked dinner and cleaned up it was already bedtime.
Then Hubby and I packed it all in to go travelling. Seven lazy months stretched out ahead of us and the only thing we needed to fill them with was spending quality time together exploring this beautiful planet. We lay on powder white beaches (a lot), we drank cheap beer (a lot) and we snorkelled and dived…you get the picture. The only stress was trying to cram as much as possible into our trip while trying to stay within the budget that we’d spent two years planning (we succeeded on the first and failed miserably on the second).
Coming home was a culture shock but expecting a baby (it was a few weeks later we realised it was babies plural) gave us something to look forward to. As I was so sick (with so called ‘morning sickness’) for the first few months I kept my freelance work and my social life to a minimum and we plodded along quietly until our two bundles of joy arrived.
Now I have more commitments, yet I’m fitting more in than I ever dreamed possible. My days are quite literally crammed. Three days a week are filled with playing, toddler groups, feeding, cleaning up and trips to the park. The other two days I work while they’re looked after by a combination of Hubby and our childminder while I try to shoehorn in whatever work I can.
My social calendar is busier than ever with a constant stream of nights out with friends and different groups of mums. My life as a mummy never stops and fills far more hours than a full-time job ever did. And I’m blogging. And writing my own stuff too for the first time in years (did you I’ve launched a book about having twins on Amazon?) And also trying to spend time with Hubby, who is becoming increasingly annoyed that I’m always doing other stuff.
Last week I had a migraine that lasted days followed by tonsillitis. I’m thinking it’s time that I learnt to say ‘no’ a bit more for my own health and Hubby’s sanity.
Nobody tells you when you have a baby that the guilt thing comes as part of the package. As a mum I feel guilty for working and for not working, I feel guilty for letting my boys watch the TV instead of reading to them and for letting them eat fishfingers instead of homemade fish pie. And as if that’s not bad enough, I feel guilty for not spending enough time with my friends and my family. If only there were an extra three hours in the day I reckon I could just about achieve a tidy house. But there isn’t.
It’s time that I kicked the guilt habit. If you invite me out to the pub and I say ‘no’ please don’t be offended, or if I turn down that invite for a play day. I’m stepping out of the fast lane for a while to take some time to appreciate my lovely life and my beautiful boys. I don’t care if my house is dusty, or if we occasionally/often have to eat a take away for tea.
I’m a mummy, a freelancer, a writer, a wife, a cleaner, a launderette, a twin club committee member and a chef. And I’m proud of it.