I managed to snap this picture on my phone while we were at 100 Acre Woods in Hampshire during a forest walk yesterday. Few things make my heart melt like seeing how close my boys are. Yes, of course they batter each other’s heads in, argue about everything and throw food at one another, but they love each other to the core.
A few minutes after this was taken we visited the fenced-in playground with them. There are all kids of dens, wigwams, trees, forts and hidey holes for them to explore. After half an hour of watching them run around, I put E in a swing and had fun making her giggle in excitement as I gave her a kiss each time the swing came towards me. I kept glancing up to make sure the boys were somewhere in sight – I’d dressed them in bright colours to make them easy to spot.
I soon realised that I could only see T1. He was standing on a hill in the middle of the park shouting his brother’s name over and over again. The fact that T1 didn’t know where his brother was made me uneasy. I asked Husband if he’d seen him, and he agreed it was a few minutes since he’d seen him. I grabbed E, and Husband grabbed T1 and we split up, exploring all of the place he could be hiding. The more places we checked, the more my heart felt like it was being crushed in my chest. I frantically asked people if they’d seen a little boy in bright blue jeans and a stripey t-shirt but nobody had. I was just starting to feel panic seeping through my veins when he emerged out of the bushes with Husband and T1, smiling and looking perfectly happy. Apparently, he’d been following some bigger boys up a tower on the edge of the park, then they’d all slid down a fireman’s pole that left them outside the park fence. OUTSIDE the fenced-in play park!
I was relieved and panic stricken all at the same time, because I know that if Husband hadn’t found him when he did he’d have gone off looking for the park entrance and it was quite likely he’d have ended up in the woods following one of the trails. It was my first experience of losing a child, and I’m sure it won’t be my last. I’m trying not to think what could have happened and focus on how utterly cute it was that T1 was just as scared about losing his brother as I was.