Finding out you’re expecting twins is life changing. Everything you’ve expected from your pregnancy, birth and even the rest of your life has to adjust to the bombshell. Knowing what to say to someone who has just found out this groundbreaking news can be tricky, especially if you’ve never had multiples yourself.
If you know somebody who is expecting twins, here are ten things you should say to them, along with ten things you should probably avoid saying (if you want to stay friends with them).
Ten things to say to expectant parents of twins
1) Congratulations, that’s amazing news!
2) You’re going to have twice the cuddles and twice the fun!
3) Carrying two babies at once is going to be hard work. What can I do to help? (Follow this up by getting out your diary and planning in some actual dates to help do things like clean the bathroom or mow the lawn).
4) What would you like as a baby gift? Would nappies and wipes be more practical than a cute little outfit?
5) I’ll make you some batches of stews/bolognese for your freezer when they arrive.
6) Can I borrow your twin books so I can get a better understanding of what you’re going through and how best to support you when the babies arrive?
7) I’ll make up a big box of healthy snacks for you as I know how sick you feel when you don’t eat regularly while you’re pregnant (or if the person is being sick constantly with pregnancy sickness like I was, try offering a box of pregnancy sickness remedies – sparkling water, crackers, seasick wristbands, ice cubes and chewing gum eased mine very slightly!)
8) You sit with your feet up while I make you a cuppa (or drink of your choice, depending on above level of pregnancy sickness!)
9) You look amazing! Your bump is so neat, you’d never know you had two babies in there (not true but we like to hear that we don’t look the size of a whale!)
10) Have you heard of TAMBA the Twins and Multiple Births Association? Also, have you found your local twin club as they can be a great support?
Unfortunately the things on the above list aren’t things I heard very often (if ever) during my pregnancy. Instead, this list of things NOT to say to an expectant parent of twins is more the norm. Unfortunately, I heard each of them throughout my pregnancy. If you find out someone you know is expecting multiples, think before you speak!
What NOT to say to someone expecting twins
1) OMG, twins, I’d rather die!
2) What did you go and do that for?!
3) Double trouble.
4) That’s going to be expensive.
5) I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
6) My friend’s sister’s aunt had twins.
7) You’re going to have your hands full.
8) Wow, rather you than me!
9) You’re going to be enormous!
10) You’re going to get fat! Don’t go eating for three!
What things did people say to you, and what do you wish they’d actually said instead?
UPDATE: If you’re expecting twins or triplets, you need to get your hands on my new ebook: Don’t Panic! A Practical Guide to Twins, Triplets and More. It’s a book written for parents of multiples, by parents of multiples. Visit my book launch page for full details and purchase links for your country.