The best thing about having pre-schoolers is the stuff they come out with. They blurt things out without any warning – there is no filter between what they think and what comes tumbling out of their mouth.
The other day for instance, on our way back from pre-school…
We stepped onto the pavement and saw a very large lady walking towards us. She was she was dressed in trousers and a baggy t-shirt, so didn’t look overly feminine. T1 shouts “Big man” while pointing in her direction. Attempting to cover it up, I saw my chance as a lorry drove past us and said “yes, that lorry does look like the bin man lorry”. As we were face-to-face passing on the pavement, he shouts “no mummy, not BIN man, BIG man” and points directly at the poor lady.
I felt the ground open up to swallow me and tried to mumble something about ‘bin man’ again before dragging the kids around the corner. At which point T2 declares at the top of his lungs “Mummy, today I did a big poo on the toilet”. In case I didn’t hear it properly the first time, he repeats it few decibels higher. The other mums walking their kids home within a half mile radius all look up and smirk.
We were on the homeward straight at last, passing the garage and car wash at the top of our road. What else could go wrong I hear you ask?
T1 saw a man laying under a car fixing it and shouts “Dead man, mummy! That man is dead. Look – a dead man!!!!” He shouted this on repeat, ignoring me as I try to explain the man really is’t dead and that he’s just fixing the car. In the end we had to stop and wait for the man to move his foot just to prove that he was alive.
T2 looks up as we’re waiting to prove the mechanic isn’t dead and sees a man at the car wash across the road with a power hose. It was hot weather and he was just wearing a pair of shorts. “Look mummy, a naked man! That man is naked mummy! Haha naked man, naked man, naked man!”
It was at that point I decided that perhaps it’s safer to wear dark glasses and a hat for the pre-school run in future.
Have your pre-schoolers got you in trouble with their runaway chatter? I’d love to hear about it!