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Chasing the Aussie dream

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How not to potty train twins

28/06/2011 | posted under: All Things Twins, Pregnancy, Birth & Baby

I blog and I have children, does that make me a mummy blogger?
One lump or two? Why twins rock

I’m amazed how some of the most touching moments during my career as a twin mum have been followed by some of the most disgusting experiences of my entire life. Take last night, for instance…

Hubby was running late at work so I started the bedtime routine on my own.  Before their bath I love to let the boys chase each other up and down the hallway. All it takes is for me to shout: “He’s coming”, and I’m rewarded with a squeal of excitement and a view of two pudgy naked boys running off as fast as their little legs will carry them thinking they’re being chased by their brother. Sometimes they get so excited they run smack into each other and end up on their bums giggling. Each night I’m filled with immense pride at the fact I’ve managed to create the two cutest children ever.

On this particular night, the fun quickly deteriorated. T2 was sprinting off at speed away from T1’s outstretched arms. As they reached their bedroom, I spotted something dark slip out from behind T2 and on to the cream rug. More dark lumps followed. It took me a few seconds to figure out what it was and in the precious moment it took my poo-o-meter to kick into gear T2 had turned on his heel, stomped straight through it and started to run off the cream rug and on to the white-painted floorboards. It felt like I was running through porridge and shouting “Nooooooo”, in slow motion. I was too late. He had already squashed each piece of poo into the carpet and had chunks of it caked to his feet as he ran towards me excited that I was finally joining in the game of chase.

I scooped him up at arm’s length, taking care not to let him to wrap his legs around me chimpanzee-style, while dragging T1 by the hand away from the devastation.

I had the fun task of pulling the chunks off his feet with the thankfully-handy baby wipes, before sticking them both out of the way in the bath where I could keep an eye on them as I collected the clumps of scattered poo. For a small person he had managed to spread it an impressive distance.

Five minutes later, when the worst of it was all cleaned up, Hubby strolled in from work where he’d had a few leisurely meetings, enjoyed an hour-long lunch break and been given plenty of hot coffee.

I resisted the urge to kill him and instead made him take over the task of bath time while I got on with the evil job of cleaning up the poo. Despite trying to pummel the rug into the washing machine it was just too big for the bloody thing so I was left spending my evening sitting on my hands and knees on the floor scrubbing brown stains out of a once cream rug while Hubby spent the night laughing at me.

I won’t be trying potty training any time soon that is for sure. And the term ‘house husband’ is starting to have a lovely ring to it.

Related Posts

  • Potty training twins: Success at last!Potty training twins: Success at last!
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  • How to potty train twins: phase twoHow to potty train twins: phase two
  • How to potty train twins: phase oneHow to potty train twins: phase one
I blog and I have children, does that make me a mummy blogger?
One lump or two? Why twins rock

Comments

  1. butwhymummywhy says

    28/06/2011 at 7:55 pm

    Totally been there, though I have to admit only with one child not two. here is but one such occasion. When my eldest was about 6 months old I put her in her door bouncer while I popped upstairs to get something. Came downstairs and looked at my darling girl in horror. There was runny poo everywhere.. you know the sort I mean.. up her back, down her legs and to top it off she’d smeared and splashed (eek!) it around the floor while bouncing! Yuck, didn’t know where to start with the cleaning up!!

    • TalesofaTwinMum says

      29/06/2011 at 10:08 am

      I feel better now, that is worse than my pre-bath poo experience. You win!

  2. nikki says

    05/07/2011 at 7:27 pm

    i just had tears streaming reading this from laughing so much! so funny, but i bet not for you at the time!
    found your blog through the multiples mayhem linky on maris world. i have twin girls, look forward to reading more on your blog xo

  3. TalesofaTwinMum says

    05/07/2011 at 9:31 pm

    Glad you found it funny. Maybe next time I’ll send the rug around to yours for cleaning 😉 x

  4. marisworld says

    08/07/2011 at 9:23 pm

    Ah the dreaded poo story – we all have one sooner or later I’m so glad mine didn’t involve a beautiful cream rug! Thanks for linking up in the carnival. Hope to see you around

    • TalesofaTwinMum says

      11/07/2011 at 4:09 pm

      You’re welcome – thanks for the link to get involved in the carnival! x

  5. Jennypaulin @ mummy mishaps says

    11/07/2011 at 1:20 pm

    I don’t envy you having to contemplate potty trainingbtwin boys! I still haven’t started yet but hope to soon! Thanks for linking this on my blog for #goingpotty. Am hoping to do another potty training updatebtype feature maybe in septrmeber s maybe you will have some more tales to tell and share with hangmen? Xx

  6. Jennypaulin @ mummy mishaps says

    11/07/2011 at 1:21 pm

    Apologies for the typos there – my screen won’t show the comments box so I cannot see my mistakes until I post the comment! Anyway, in septmeber if I do another carnival you could link up an update on your twins? X

    • TalesofaTwinMum says

      11/07/2011 at 4:10 pm

      I’ll keep an eye on Twitter for it. Not properly potty training for a while yet as they just aren’t interested but maybe in a few months who knows. I’m dreading it though! x

BY KAREN BLEAKLEY
Karen
Hi! I’m Karen - a beach and travel obsessed mum of three and founder of Smart Steps to Australia - a migration website created to help support UK families on their move to Australia. Sharing my life as a writer, mum and entrepreneur while raising three kids including twins and chasing the Aussie dream. Visit my About Me page

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