It’s time again for the Multiple Mayhem Carnival. This time it’s being hosted by the lovely Rebecca from Here Come the Girls. It seemed like a good time to do a post about the annoying things people say when they find out you’ve got, or are expecting, multiples.
These are all REAL things people said to me when I told them I was expecting twins:
What did you go and do that for?
Hmm, because I obviously had a choice about how many babies my body was going to produce.
Oh dear, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
I try to block out this comment from somebody who I have to see on a regular basis. I bet now she can’t even remember saying it to me when I was pregnant, but I’ll never forget it. It was followed by, oh you’re at the stage where you look a bit fat rather than pregnant. I never liked that phase. Smack.
Ohh you’re in for some hard work. Double trouble!
Blah, blah, blah. Anyone with twins hears this all the time and it never ceases to sound boring an unoriginal. I’m usually tempted to put my fingers in my ears and sing loudly until the person gets the hint and goes away. Unfortunately I’m too polite to actually do this.
Are they natural?
As opposed to what? Unnatural? Are you trying to say my babies are freaks?!
Rather you than me!
Yes, actually I would rather it be me blessed with this rare and special treat of having two babies thank you very much. Do these people actually thing they’re adding something useful to my life by saying these crazy thoughts out loud?!
Having one baby is hard enough, but two – wow!
Actually no, having one baby is pretty easy. You have time to put your feet up for the odd coffee break, you only have one waking you in the night, you only have to manoeuver a skinny single buggy through shops, you can take your baby swimming and you have a lot less washing. Get over yourself and stop complaining or I’ll invite you around to mine and show you what hard work really is.
OMG, can you even imagine having twins, what a nightmare! *a lady in town whispered loudly to her friend as I walked past them with my double buggy*
Firstly, parents of twins are NOT, repeat, NOT deaf! We hear those sneaky comments you say when we walk past. And no, having twins is actually pretty awesome, not a nightmare at all. I feel a little sorry for your poor child for having a judgemental parent like you!
I know how you feel because I have a baby and an older child, and it’s just the same as having twins
No. No. No. This one winds me up the most. You have different challenges that I couldn’t begin to understand, but it is not the same. Just different. Two babies at exactly the same developmental stage, with the same time-consuming needs, aren’t the same as a single baby and child who can walk, feed themselves and play on their own. The lady who said this to me had a seven-year old and a baby. I was struggling through a shop with my double buggy while my boys both had a screaming tantrum. The lady on the other hand was walking with her narrow single buggy (while her seven-year old was in school) enjoying her relaxing shopping experience. If I hadn’t gotten my buggy jammed in an aisle full of displays as she swished past me I might just have lamped her one.
Are they twins?
This is cute at first but gets boring when you’ve answered it a million times. Sometimes it’s even easier to dress them identically just so that people don’t bother to ask. Or start to make things up (no I stole one of them because it looked remarkably like the other etc) Jason Manford is usually a pretty good source of witty come back lines. If you see somebody with what looks like a set of twins you could always just ask how old are they, then you’ll have your answer without having to drive the poor mum nuts by asking that age old question!
You’ve been busy!
I never know how to respond to this one – people often assume my boys are siblings born very close together in age as opposed to twins (T2 is a couple of lbs bigger and is a bit taller than T1). A good response seems to be “yes, having twins means I’m always busy”, then they looked dumbfounded and confused and don’t quite know what to say. At which point I make my escape before they ask anything else stupid.
My friend’s postman/aunt/cousin has twins
Really? Wow! What a small world. Only one in eighty people has twins so it’s amazing that you actually know somebody with a set, given the size of the planet and all! People always feel the need to have a reason to introduce themselves and have a look at you babies. I’d much rather people just came over and said hi, what lovely babies etc. That way the conversation doesn’t have to start off with fake smiles at my end.
I’ve got xx year old twins
Phew – it’s so lovely to meet someone else who has gone through the same thing. Please tell me it gets easier, please please please. It’s lovely to commiserate about what hard work it is and the fact that we’re obviously supermums to be able to survive it.
I could go on, but to be honest, there aren’t really many more original ones – I just get rehashed version of the above (usually with the words double trouble in there somewhere because people seem to think we’ve never heard it before).
If you see somebody in town with twins, or triplets, don’t be afraid to go up to them and say hi – just be friendly and avoid any of the above comments and you’ll be greeted with a genuine welcome because you’ll probably be the only person in the whole town to not approach them with a negative comment!
Do you have multiples? Can you add anything else to my list?