When we decided to try for another child I didn’t really think about how the boys would cope with a little sister – I just took it for granted that they’d be as happy to meet her as we would be. What I did think about was how much easier I’d find it having a single baby after twins instead of doing it the other way around.
In hindsight, both options are tricky – a single toddler with baby twin siblings must struggle with the lack of attention as newborn twins take up so much time and energy, likewise juggling two very fast runners while trying to take care of a newborn isn’t going to be easy either. But I guess at least I’ll be able to let the boys loose at soft play while I enjoy a sit down and a coffee, and while they’re at pre-school my life will be amazingly free – I’ll be able to take my baby swimming and to the baby cinema screenings, things I could never do with the boys. I’ll be able to get into shops with my single buggy and meet friends for lunch without worrying about how to feed two screaming babies and upsetting the other diners.
Part of me feels very sad that my boys missed out on doing some of the things my friends did with their children. But I still love the fact they have each other and they are so close, even if they do fight like mad sometimes. I love that when Husband is tickling one of them to death, the other always tries to help their brother, or if I’m pretending to be the wolf from the three little pigs they both gang up on me to fight me off.
During the first few months of this pregnancy the boys were in denial. When I tried to tell them that mummy was having a baby, they just shouted “no” over and over again. As my tummy grew, they became more determined that I was not having a baby. But after reading them There’s a House Inside my Mummy a few times (which was recommended by lots of people on Twitter) they started to warm to the idea. Then at a birthday party two months ago there was a baby girl there in her car seat. The boys were fascinated with her and kept going over to tickle her toes. They beamed at her and kept waving and saying “hello baby”. It melted my heart and I stopped worrying about how they were going to adapt.
As the third trimester has passed, they’ve become more interested in pulling up my top to see my bump (which is a nightmare when we’re out and I’m wearing a dress) and touch my belly. They like to feel her move and often kiss my tummy and wave at her. T1 keeps telling me that he is desperate to show her his cars and T2 wants to show her his train track.
I think that not only do we need nine months to get our heads around the idea of bringing a new baby into the world, so do our children. We’ve bought the baby presents from the boys, and the boys presents from the baby. We’ve done what we can to prepare them, but a baby will change their world beyond belief. Now we’ve just got to wait and see what happens! Wish us luck, as her arrival is imminent!
This post is linked to the Multiple Mayhem Carnival over on Coombe Mill’s blog. Pop along to read lots of great posts about multiples.
crazywithtwins says
What a lovely post! Your boys sound like proper little cuties. I’m sure they will adapt much quicker and better than you expect. Kids are so resilient. Best of luck with the birth… I’m looking forward to hearing your news and seeing your photos! xx
TalesofaTwinMum says
Thanks lovely. They are cuties (when they want to be!) and I’m hoping they do fall in love with her, even though I suspect they won’t like the crying part at first! Will Tweet tomorrow and upload pic onto my Facebook page. xx
Coombe Mill (Fiona) (@coombemill) says
First off congratulations as I now know she is here! I love the way the boys have gone from denial to exciement over the birth of their sister. My word of warning with a new baby is to watch out for about 6 weeks to 3 months time with the twins. This is when the novelty begins to wear off and they realise Mummy’s attention is now being split 3 ways. For me it came out in behaviour changes from food protests to tantrums on different children. If you see these changes, it might be a silent cry for more Mummy time. If your lucky it will never be an issue but just be aware of the possiblity. Thank you for joining in the Multiple Mayhem Carnival and congratulations on your lovely new arrival.
TalesofaTwinMum says
Thanks for the comment and for hosting such a great Multiple Mayhem Carnival! We did see a step back in behaviour after she was born as T2 went through potty training regression, and both of them became unsettled at night (I think they were jealous to see E sleeping in our room as we’ve always been strict about making them sleep in their own rooms since they were babies). Fingers crossed were over all of that now. They still adore her and want to kiss and cuddle her all the time – my only problem now is stopping them from trying to pick her up all the time! xx
@bluebearwood says
I involved eldest in everything I did from changing nappies to feeding etc She also had her own baby doll so she could copy me. I always talked to her about what I was doing why one of the twins was crying etc. the only little hiccup we had was when we started weaning and eldest decided she couldn’t feed herself any more so for a few months i had to spoon feed three of them again ;D
TalesofaTwinMum says
I think it must be very tough having twins/triplets when you have an older one and you don’t want them feeling left out. The boys have been brought up knowing they have to wait for things and take turns (they don’t always like it but they know it is a fact of life), so adding E into the mix hasn’t been so hard as they’re used to sharing my attention. My only real problem came when we were walking home from preschool with E in the pram the first time and I realised that they usually both walk on the small wall alongside the pavement while I held their hands. With a pram to push I only had one hand free, so they had to take turns to walk on the wall. I had tantrums from both the first day but after that they just accepted it. I’m sure there will be more moments like this coming up though! Agh I hadn’t even thought about weaning yet, I’m amazed that she is now over three months and it’s not that far off as she is a very hungry baby! xx