People tend to say very silly things to parents of multiples. I’ve written about it before here. I’m amazed at some of the things people come out with. Now that I have two toddlers AND a little baby I’m greeted with “ah, you’ve got your hands full” about a million times more than ever. But the phrase that beats them all is “well, at least you’re done now”.
People used to say that to me all the time when I just had the boys. Everyone seems to think that two children = a family, so having two at once means automatically that you don’t need to bother going through it all again. Most of my friends have decided to stick at two children. Two seems to be the norm.
When we announced we were having another baby it surprised everyone. Once people got over the shock, they asked “are you sure there isn’t another one hiding?” This joke got a bit thin but what was worse was everyone followed it up with “let’s hope it’s a girl this time”. We didn’t care what we were having; I knew how incredibly lucky we were to have our two boys and whether it was a boy or a girl wouldn’t have mattered one bit. I admit I’m so excited it was a girl, just so that I have an excuse to fill the house with pink, flowery things. But I do kind of miss buying tiny jumpers with diggers on them.
Anyway, here we are now with a pair of just-turned-three year olds, an utterly crazy labradoodle puppy and a three month old baby. Most people look at us while we on an outing with pity. They can’t understand why we’d want such a manic life. Somebody even said to me that in a few years we can get our lives back.
Ok, the tantrums might be hard work times two, juggling a crying baby while trying to stop the boys from climbing on the dog might drive me insane and going for a walk with the boys tied to me on Boomereins while pushing a buggy is certainly a skill to master. But personally I’m trying to treasure these times, not rush through them, as for all I know my house might never be this crazy again.
Then again, I might well prove all of those “at least you’re done now” people wrong by having one more… Does having four under four trump having three under three?*
*Sorry Husband if you’re reading this, that was a joke and I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll at least wait another year before deciding whether I want any more 😉
Fabulous Mommy says
Ha ha ha ha. That is the question hey. I would love to have a girl but I’m scared of twins again. And there are no guarentees so who knows what the future holds.
There is apparently a one in 14 chance of having twins again when you have one set of non ids already. That means your chances of having triplets increases if one of the two eggs split (the thought of triplets and 2 year old twins terrified the life out of me – I was so pleased I got a scan at 7 weeks pregnant for my gallstones and was able to take a look to check there was only one in there!) Twins are awesome but two sets would be hard work – a lot of fun though 😉 x
Fabulous Mommy says
Well we would be using assisted reproduction again in which case the chance of twins jumps to one in four. Eek!
I don’t know if we could finacially afford 4 kids.
The comment that used to irritate me was are you going to try for a boy! WTF?! If I tried for a fourth it would be because I wanted another child not because I wanted a boy. I’m more than happy with my 3 girls 🙂
How exactly are you supposed to ‘try’ for a boy?! Some people are really dim. x
Trouble Doubled (@trouble_doubled) says
Agree with @bluebearwood. With four girls we get asked if we’re trying for a boy next or worse – were we disappointed with the twin girls because we were *obviously* wanting a boy?! Erm, no thanks. I had children because I wanted children not because I wanted girls or boys specifically. I even get people looking at me in pity when out with the twins and they say it’s brilliant because I’ve had my family all in one go and two is enough. Yes I say, plus the other two back home! I think some people think they’ve got the right to comment on it without having to engage their brains.
Haha I think when you have multiples you get used to the fact people mostly say things without engaging their brains. It does infuriate me that people think they have a right to either tell me I’m not having any more kids, or if they ask me outright if I’m done now (these are usually people I’ve just met while out shopping!) Hubs and I haven’t even discussed whether to have more, why should I chat about my future plans with a complete stranger?!! xx
The strangest one I was asked was ‘are they both twins?’….Go figure that one out.
Loving that – made me chuckle out loud. Doh! x
michelle twin mum says
Lol, I love the fact you had to apologise to hubbie in case you scared him! I hope you have had a great Christmas, Mich x
Sorry for the delayed reply – I’ve been taking blogging time out over xmas! I still keep on freaking him out by saying I might want one more. He’s 100% sure it would be twins or triplets if we tried again, and the finances and size of our house terrify him! We had a lovely Christmas thanks, I hope you did too. xx
School Gate Style says
Lol at the things people say…I’ve heard lots of them too. Talking of trying for a 4th and all that, I know a girl in Belfast who had two, decided to try for a third and ended up with triplets…EEK! Love reading about your hectic life…your kids are adorable – what a gorgeous photo! Avril x
Wow, that would terrify me! I don’t know where we’d put another three as our house is already bursting with three kids and a dog! Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliment about my kids. I think they’re pretty adorable too 😉 xx